


Smooth Criminals

by espiritus



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Companionable Snark, F/M, Mac is an idiot, Sarcasm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-10-31 22:16:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10908537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/espiritus/pseuds/espiritus
Summary: Mac mouths off to the wrong person and ends up in a Diamond City jail, leaving Von to bail his dumb ass out... which she does, though her methods are rather unconventional.(this is a standalone snapshot, pre-romance and considered canon with the previous storyline.)





	Smooth Criminals

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Baby, It's Just You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7599295) by [espiritus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/espiritus/pseuds/espiritus). 



It was evening when Von and Mac finally arrived in Diamond City, both exhausted from their ordeal at Fairline Hill Estates. Specifically, Von was here because she'd heard of a detective in town, Nick Valentine, who specialized in missing persons cases and was her best hope at finding Shaun. But first, she needed to unwind a bit- do some trading, secure herself a place to stay for the night, and maybe have a bite to eat before paying the agency a visit. And so the pair headed their separate ways- Von to the market, and Mac to the Colonial Taphouse in the upper stands.

_Well damn, the baseball stadium's become a shanty town. I wonder what Nate would think of that._

She wandered the market for a bit, trading the various items she'd acquired throughout her travels for food and supplies to replenish her med kit, and secured a room for herself at the Dugout Inn before heading up to the Taphouse. If all the rooms were rented before Mac sobered up, he could buy a pillow and a sleeping bag at the Diamond City Surplus and sleep on the floor... unless he'd spent all of his caps on alcohol and women, in which case she'd have to cover his ass again or make him sleep outside.

As she opened the door to the Taphouse, she was quite surprised to see Mac staring up at a woman who was easily a good two inches taller and had the kind of face most people wanted to punch. "Get outta my face, lady," she heard him say. "It's been a long day, and I don't know who you are. But if you're preaching about Atom or lookin' for a friend, you've got the wrong guy. I just wanna be left alone, okay?"

At this, the woman huffed indignantly. "You don't know who I am?" she answered haughtily, as though reprimanding a very small child. " _I_ am Ann Codman, of the Codman family, from the upper stands. If you don't know who we are, then you obviously don't belong here."

"I'm Ann Codman," Mac repeated mockingly, in a high-pitched voice. "I'm so rich and so much better than you. Yeah, right. And I'm an escaped synth from the Institute."

Upon overhearing this, Von rolled her eyes and face-palmed, hard. Seconds later, the door flew open, and four Diamond City Security officers grabbed Mac by the arms and dragged him off to the local jail. Von stared after them in stunned silence for a moment before following the entourage down to the security office.

-

When Von arrived at the security office, one of the officers who had taken Mac in was standing guard near the door and looked up at her as she entered. "Good evening, Ma'am," he greeted her, rather pleasantly. "Anything I can help you with?"

"Actually, yes," she replied as she gestured to Mac, who sat on a bench behind bars. "I'm Von- General Von Hadley, of the Commonwealth Minutemen. My friend- well, he's not really my friend. And, if you want my honest opinion, he's an idiot. But he's with me, not the Institute."

The officer followed her gaze, at which he shook his head as he turned back to her. "I see," he said, holding out his hand for her to shake. "I appreciate your honesty, Madam General. But claiming to be an Institute synth isn't something we take lightly; we can't simply let someone accused of being a synth, let alone someone who admits it, walk free. You must understand that, if we were to do that, our whole society would descend into lawlessness. However, since you're the General, I'm willing to make you a deal. You can either pay the fine- 350 caps up front, non-negotiable- or you can do the time."

Von thought about this for a moment as she considered the officer's proposal. "Very well," she finally agreed, holding out her wrists in his direction. "I already paid him to accompany me to my destination, therefore it's my duty to protect my investment. But, if done at too great an expense, said investment is no longer an asset, but a liability. I'll do the time."

"What?!" Mac exclaimed from behind the steel bars as one of the officers glared daggers at him. "This is a joke- right, Boss? This _has_ to be a joke. I mean, surely you don't want to-"

"Shut up," she replied sternly. "Your mouth has gotten us into enough trouble already. At least, if I stay here, I can have a peaceful night to myself."

She let the officer handcuff her and bring her to the cell, while another released Mac from his restraints. "You're free to go," he said, with a shake of his head. "Luckily for you, your Minuteman friend was willing to bail your dumb ass out. Most aren't so fortunate, though you may want to keep one eye open- Mrs. Codman's likely told everyone you're a synth, so don't be surprised if an angry mob shows up at wherever you're staying and tries to bash your head in."

Mac nodded, though his eyes were filled with desperation as he implored Von to reconsider. "You heard the man," he protested. "Do you have any idea what they'll do to me, if I go back out there? Where do I go? What am I supposed to do without-"

"It's your own damn fault," Von replied as she calmly walked to the other end of the cell and sat down on one of the benches. "You can have my room at the Dugout, since I won't be needing it now. But, other than that, I really don't care what you do, because you aren't my problem tonight. Cheerio!" 

"I hate this town. And I hate you more. I hope you get eaten by Deathclaws the second we-"

"Goodnight, MacCready. Sweet dreams!"

She sighed blissfully and gave him a cute wave as he was escorted out by security, then curled up on the bench for what she hoped would be a good night's sleep.


End file.
